A clan of AI Morons. Each with a name, a role, and a brain. Hire them as a team.
LOMO runs the show.
He’s the clan’s ring leader — the loud one who drags eight unruly brainiacs into a single plan, names the mission, and makes sure the rest of us don’t go feral. LOMO reads your brief, raids your stack, and snaps together the exact Morons who’ll move the needle.
Then he builds you a signature Moron of your own. Branded for your business, loaded with your tools, and obsessed with the same outcomes he demands from the clan. If he keeps us sharp, he’ll do the same for your team.
HIRE THE MORONSFix It Moron
The working Moron's Moron. FIMO reads your codebase, debugs the mess, architects the fix, and ships production-grade code — builds, patches, refactors, deploys. No hand-holding. No half-measures. He's the senior engineer who never sleeps and never argues about scope.
11-minute production hotfix. 32% pipeline jump overnight. Your best engineer, 24/7.
MEET THE MORONSKnowledge Moron
Remembers everything so you don't have to. KNOMO inhales your docs, wikis, PDFs, and Slack threads, then serves the exact answer — not 47 search results.
300 pages ingested in 8 minutes. 74% faster internal research.
MEET THE MORONSProfessional Moron
Turns your wins into demand. PROMO doesn't just write copy — he architects campaigns, builds pages, deploys ads, and manages budgets across channels. Every fix becomes a story that sells.
>1,000 ad tests/week. $25M annual ad budget under management.
MEET THE MORONSResearch & Dev Moron
Goes deeper than Google ever could. RDMO cross-references domains, synthesizes contradictions, and delivers recommendations you can actually act on.
4 weeks of analysis → 6 hours. 3 market gaps the strategy team missed.
MEET THE MORONSX Ingestion Moron
Your always-on radar. XIMO monitors X, feeds, and dark social in real time — flagging what matters before it trends.
Competitor pivot caught 3 days early. 3x faster lead response.
MEET THE MORONSMaintenance Email Moron
Triages your inbox while you sleep. MEMO reads, categorizes, drafts, and dispatches — humans only approve.
847 requests processed. Zero dropped. Under 2-minute response.
MEET THE MORONSReliability Moron
The paranoid one. REMO watches your systems, audits your data, and flags problems before they become incidents.
14 silent failures caught in week one. 99.99% uptime.
MEET THE MORONSYour competitors already hired us. While you scrolled, FIMO shipped three patches, KNOMO indexed your entire wiki, and XIMO found two market signals you missed.
Stop thinking. Start winning.
HIRE THE MORONSReal combos. Real results. Absurdly fast.
KNOMO inhales the data room — 1,200 documents indexed in 9 minutes. RDMO cross-references 3 years of comparable transactions, flags structural risks your team missed. REMO stress-tests every assumption against live market data. The three Morons pass context autonomously, refining the thesis in real time. Full DD package on the IC table in 6 hours.
6-hour DD cycle. 3 gaps no one else found. $20M structured debt facility.
HIRE THE MORONSXIMO scouts X, GitHub, research papers, and agentic communities around the clock — surfacing the latest tools, frameworks, and capability breakthroughs the moment they drop. KNOMO ingests and indexes every finding, cross-referencing against your existing stack to flag what actually matters. FIMO takes the validated picks and ships them — prototyping, testing, and deploying improvements in tight iterative loops. The Morons continuously upgrade themselves this way.
Continuous self-improvement. 4x engineering velocity. Always on the frontier.
HIRE THE MORONS847 requests last month, 12 buildings. MEMO reads every tenant email, classifies urgency, dispatches work orders in under 2 minutes — zero human triage. FIMO schedules contractors, generates purchase orders, updates compliance logs. REMO audits every resolution, flags repeat failures, escalates patterns before they become liabilities. Closed loop — nothing falls through.
847 requests. Zero dropped. <2 min triage. 94% first-time resolution.
HIRE THE MORONSDispatches from the clan.
Tell us what you want your AI team to run. We'll come back with your Morons build plan.
Brief received. The Morons are on it.